


Nothin' the Marauders Can't Handle

by SonOfAMuggle



Series: Full Moon Mayhem [4]
Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Action/Adventure, Animagus, Hogwarts Forbidden Forest, Humor, M/M, Marauders, Marauders Era (Harry Potter), Spiders, The Marauder's Map
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-26
Updated: 2020-10-26
Packaged: 2021-03-09 07:28:50
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,004
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27199856
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonOfAMuggle/pseuds/SonOfAMuggle
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Series: Full Moon Mayhem [4]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1761544
Kudos: 13





	Nothin' the Marauders Can't Handle

"Alright Wormtail your up!" James called

Peter took the quill in hand and signed the map leaning over the shabby table, one of the few furnishing in the room. The Shrieking Shack was lite with orbs of light flouting around the ceiling; which lent a festive atmosphere to the dingy room.

James climbed atop the shaky table to make his grand speech. "Gentlemen it is official! Drum role of you please! ( Sirius bangs on the table) that's not a drum roll! Moony if you please, . . . Never start a band. Your all shit! . . .May I present to you The Marauder's Map!"

"Yea !" The other three chorused with applause

"Take your shirt off!" cried Sirius.

"Fuck off" James replied with a smile. Opening a bottle of fire whiskey, he took a generous swig before passing it to Remus.

Remus passed it on to Sirius without drinking. James jumped off the table nearly landing on Peter.

"Come on Moony were celebrating! Loosen up!" Sirius's pilot light for partying was always on the verge of burning down the house.

"It's a full moon you want to deal with a pissed werewolf."

"We'll take the risk!" Sirius said, cheerfully pushing the bottle firmly back in to Remus's hand. Remus shrugged, Sirius's enthusiasm for celebration was contagious. He took a moderate sip passing the bottle to Peter.

"We going to need a better security charm on the map." Remus pondered.

"We could use a password? With a jinx if you get it wrong." James suggested. 

"I'm shit at remembering passwords" Peter said drinking before passing the bottle back to Remus.

"That seems more of an argument in favor of one." Sirius retorted grabbing the whiskey.

"I'm not sure about just a password. If this is to be the Marauders legacy, we need something other Gryiffindors could use." Remus said.

"I don't know Moony, it could be used against us in the wrong hands." Sirius passed him the bottle "Do you really want Mulciber using it for an ambush? I care more about us, then future pranksters." 

"And what if you have a kid?" Remus asked

"Well, I'm all for trying Remus but I don't think biology is quite in our favor." Remus choked on the whiskey and blushed.

"Yeah, but what if Wormtail knocks up Midgen" said James with a laugh.

"Wish she'd let me try." Replied Peter.

"I think it should only be the four of us." Sirius said suddenly

". . . knocking up Midgen?" Asked Peter

"Using the map!" Sirius corrected

" Not much of a legacy." Said James

" Not you too."

" Think about it Padfoot" Sirius rolled his eyes at the incoming speech. James always got like this when drinking. "This map could take us from famous to legendary. Better, We'll become a myth! The Marauders, Masters of Mischief! Inspiring future Gryiffindors to create chaos in the classroom! We'll belong to Hogwarts History! Generations passing down the map like my family did the invisibility cloak - -"

Sirius started clapping in mock admiration, Cutting off the speeches. "Very inspiring. I never understood 'family legacy' but if it means that much to you, let Mulciber have the bloody map."

"Well, What if we spell in certain qualifiers for new users" Remus said drinking the whiskey absently. He starred at the ceiling in contemplation, sitting on a three legged chair, his soft cheeks a glow.

"Are you gonna drink that whole thing?" 

"Oh, Sorry" Remus muttered passing the half empty bottle to James.

"One would still need to activate and deactivate it. Maybe we could use passwords for that." Peter said

"There's still the problem of how to pass on the password to our theoretical heirs. We can't just scribble it on the back" added Sirius

"No, Maybe a text interface? Like the Anti Authority Charm." Looking at Peter who shrugged in response.

"Hey Padfoot I bet you can't balance this on your nose!" Said James completely abandoning the conversation.

"Your on!" Sirius exclaimed before morphing into a dog. 

"The heirs should have to prove themselves." Peter added

"We can make them do pranks and bunch dumb shit!" James Shouted gently placing the nearly empty bottle on Sirius's hairy snout.

Remus and Peter moved to the table. The map enshrined on it like a holy relic upon an alter. 

"The Hogwarts wards should be able to verify if the heirs are Gryiffindors." Said Peter

" Yes, but we'll need something like a malintent charm like they use on sneek-o-scopes to get a read on their trust worthiness."

"Moony, Wormtail look! look! he's doing it!" said James. They ignored him.

"I thought that charm had object limitations?"

"It does. We'll just use the map as the object and change the signal from spinning with noise to a device shut off switch. The map will just go blank." 

" Why didn't you do that instead of Anti-Athority Charm? We wouldn't have had to think up all those insults." 

Remus's reply was only a wicked grin.

Sirius was balancing on two paws whiskey bottle on the tip of his noise. "You gotta see this!"

"- passing that there will be a text prompt to initiate the challenges. On complet-"

"Oh shit!" Crash! They turned around. The bottle of whiskey shattered on the floor. 

"No worries" Sirius said morphing into a human. "We've got Butterbeer!" With a cheers he passes a bottle to Peter and Remus who's lips twitched holding in a smile.

"You shouldn't let him encourages you." Peter said.

"When's the last time you said no to him?"Remus retorted. Peter shrugged twisting open the bottle.

"I'm standing right here!" Sirius exclaimed.

" Yes, and you have glass in your hair." Said Remus looking at the map.

"Shit - ohw" Sirius had attempted to brush the glass out with his fingers.

"Hold still." Sirius lowered his head and Remus gently held his cheek to steady it. with careful tedium Remus picked shards out of his black main.

Peter became intensely focused on the map to avoid watching their tender moment.

"Your pulling my hair."

"Don't be such a drama queen" breathed Remus. 

"But I am a drama queen"

"And don't I know it"

"Saay Wormtail, do you know whats in this blank part of the forest?" James asked after joining them round the table.

"ouch"

"I'm not sure, but the rats say to avoid it. Their scouts don't returns from there." Peter replied

"ouch"

"I'm sure it's nothing The Marauders can't handle." James said bristling with the confidence only inebriation can provide.

" Ouch" 

"All done. Now run along and stay out of trouble." Remus condensed, brushing a lock out of Sirius's eyes.

"Mmm Never" Sirius replied looking up at him with a mischievous grin.

\----------------

Peter clung to to shaggy black fur as they galloped through the forbidden forest dodging trees. He was nervous and more then usual. The alcohol fueled bravado was warring off and going again his rat pack's advise seemed more reckless by the minute.   
He watched James in front leaping high in the air to entice a werewolf into chasing him, picking his way thru the forest. He was fearless and clever, his confidence bounding ever higher. What must it feel like to be that self assured. Remus let out a wolfy howl that Sirius mimicked. The chorus echoing softly among the fir and oaks. Padfoot had been doing that a lot. Peter wondered if it was a conscious effect to convince the werewolf they were of the same pack or an unconscious expression of their hidden relationship. They even moved the same. Well, a bit wobbly right now due to inebriation, but paws falling in the same muddy prints.   
Prongs slowed to a trot. They must be getting close. Peter sniffed the air, on guard. His fur bristled, trying to anticipate the unknown.

Something in the canopy was glistening like snow in the moon light. Odd. It was early for a frost. There was more of it as they moved ahead. Sparkling like morning dew as it stretched across branches. Like string?  
Curiosity overcoming fear, Peter hopped off Sirius's back to investigate. He scurried up a bent tree to get a closer look. Strange. It was almost like silk? But too large. He leaned his nose closer. It didn't smell particular threatening. His whisker brushed it's surface. Sticky. Peter pulled back feeling the stinging tension on his whisker. His whisker gave in first. Pop. "Ouch" Peter squeaked. Distracted by the pain he didn't notice the silk vibrating through the forest.

Behind him a dog was barking with laughter. Until the spider dropped down on him, slamming his head to forest floor.

_______________

Sirius awoke mind spinning. He was wrapped in silk being dragged through the rough underbrush by a spider the size of a horse. Ahead being pulled by two spiders was what looked like a mummify grub with antlers. Shit. What had they gotten themselves into this time? At least they hadn't been eaten on the spot. He stranded his neck looking for the others.

Sirius concussion must be tendering on brain damage. From his upside down vantage point, he saw a man too big to be allowed in deep conversation about weaving patterns with the largest spider yet; wearing a pink and yellow knit blanket tucked snugly around his thorax.

" — unicorn hair really adds some strength to the weft. The twill weave is similar to yar ah sheet web"

"funnel is better, harder for prey to escape" the blanket adorned spider clicked in reply.

"Aye That's true but it won't do you no good to weaving a shirt ya can't get out of—"

The promenade of hairy legs and sticky straight jackets halted in front of the cozy spider. Sirius's dog body flopped helpless in the dirt causing a jolt of pain in his head. The musky scent of the beast filled his sensitive nose. There was a sound of more clicking as the spiders communicated among themselves.

"Well, Arogog I see you're dinners 'ere. I should be off." said Hagrid. Apparently they were a catch good enough to lay before the prima spider. With a reaching in his gut he thought of the two pound Peter. Had that long tailed vermin wormed his way out of becoming dinner? He felt nauseous.

Hagrid nuzzled the blanket lovingly around Aragog's body and made to leave the nest wallpapered with webbing. However the single foot path was blocked. Three spiders were fighting to contain a werewolf. With vicious snarls and dangerous claws the werewolf was shredding apart the silk as fast as they could spin it. He fought relentlessly to escape the sticky garnish tying up the spiders feisty feast.

Give 'em hell Remus. Sirius thought howling out encouragement. 

With a howl that sounded like a call to arms James awoke. Roused to attention he began thrashing his antlers mercilessly to release himself. Above him a menacing hairy beast with hungry pincers; To his his left a bandaged log with a bushy tail and behind him the unmistakable sounds of a cross werewolf. He turned his head in time to seem the three spiders recoil.

The last thread of silk holding Remus in restrain broke with a pop. 

There was a moment of pause before the werewolf realized his freedom. A long string of drool stretched from its canine lips as he turned towards the nearest human.

"Whow there" Hargid called in warning spreading his arms wide like a bear.

In two bounding leaps Remus sprung forward landing on Hagrid, fangs piercing the man's shoulder. With a brief growl of pain Hagrid griped the werewolf's neck. He pried the mouth from his shoulder by the raw strength of his hands. Bending down on one knee he forced his attacker to the rocky ground. Pinning him in his oversize hands Hagrid held firm the life of Remus.

James's eyes were wide in panic. He had to get to Hagrid. Had to save Remus. Had to free Sirius. Had to find Peter. The demand for action fueled his agile muscles against his silk restraints. 

"Easy there mate, calm down" Hagrid muttered calming words waiting for the wolf to become submissive. Although, Remus was on his back being pinned down the werewolf never stopped fighting to get back on his paws.

James heard a squeak and felt light paws across his side. Peter, thank Merlin. The rat began cutting through the silk with his sharp teeth, walking on the webbing without sticking. But how? The rat looked like he had rolled around in snivilus's hair and smelled musky, less like a rat and more like the surrounding arachnids. But why? To mask his scent? The spiders could still see and wouldn't matter what he smelled like if he was stuck in their webs. . . That was it. Peter's oil covered fur wouldn't stick to the silk thread. He must have coated himself on a spider, gross, but effective.

Peter had finished chewing through the restraints and scurried over to release Sirius. Now if James could just get chummy with one of the many legend beasts, with the web threat neutralized they might be able to brute force their way out of here. Before he could form a plan however, a fang bit into him. The largest spider was reluctant to let his prey escape so easily. There was a flurry of hairy legs as the spiders scrambled to weave a sheet web over the only exit.

Peter released Sirius spring to life like a popped coiled. Knocking Wormtail to the floor. The quick movement distracted the spider. James chose this moment to slam his antlers into the beasts many eyes. In pain and surprise the spider drops him.

"Arogog!" Hagrid cried out.

Peter shrieked in terror as smaller spiders tried to take a bit of him. Sirius ran towards Remus. Hagrid ran towards Arogog. Desperate for safety, Peter scurried up Hargrid's leg to hide in one of the many pockets of his coat. In one move James reached behind the now blind spider grabbing it's knit blanket and flipping it onto his own back and leaped to the vanishing exit.

James burst through the webbing, silk threads skidding off the pink and yellow blanket coated with the blind spider's oil. Sirius and Remus chasing after. The blanket billowing around prongs like a war banner in the night.  
__________

The shack was calm, filled with the rhythmic breathing of an exhausted werewolf. James healed Sirius's concussion with a confident swish of his wand. His healing skills had been getting steady practice since they became animagi. 

"Well, that could have gone better" Sirius was solemn. He pull the bottle to his lips as his mind flashed back to the disaster of a night.

"We fucked up" James nursed the puncture wound on his shoulder. Beside him a medical book rested open.

"Really the part with the Wormtail was quite funny" 

"Give it a rest Padfoot" James Snapped "that could have been really bad" 

"Yeah we fucked up, sorry" 

"Me too, do you think we should tell him he bit Hagrid?"

"Absolutely not. He'll never forgive himself" 

"it's just, he's was right about it being dangerous" 

"He's Moony his always right, we just never listen" words like 'reckless' and 'irresponsible' echoed through his mind in Remus firm voice. 

"It's more fun that way" James replied. Closing up his wound swiping his wand like a needle and thread.

“It wasn't tonight" the room filled with silent regret. Sirius lifted his bottle.

"How are you still drinking?" Asked James as he shut the medical book.

"Hair of the dog"

James gave a weak chuckle and sat beside Sirius pulling a large blanket over both of them.

"I just want to protect him." Sirius whispered

"From our stupidity?"

" –from himself. I know these nights are rough on him but letting him push us away because of the 'danger' won't help."

"He's too hard on himself sometime. Haven't we proved ourselves to him yet?"

"He feels like an outcast. Even when you have friends that feeling doesn't fully go away" Sirius muttered thinking of his ex-family.

"Are you talking about your fight with Regulus?"

"I'm talking about Remus, I just wanted to do whatever it takes to make the nights easier on him. Make him laugh and forget what's coming. It was too much to night."

"We should probably stop drinking" Sirius gave him a disbelieving look. "We should stop drinking on full moon nights" James amended. Sirius abandoned the bottle and rested his head on James's shoulder.

"Maybe your right, I just thought it might relax him. I care for him, Prongs"

"We all do"

"No, I mean, I really care for him"

"I know what you mean mate," James rested his chin on Sirius's head. "I know." 

"Have you told Peter yet?"

"No. Moony and I have a bet going to see how long it takes him to figure it out. Moon thinks it will be within the month. I think it will be three."

"Wormy more clever than you give him credit for."

"Maybe," said Sirius unconvinced "Do you think Hagrid will be alright?"

"We can visit him tomorrow and check. He's probably got Wormtail in a oneies feeding him a bottle right now. but, I expect his giant's blood will fight off the werewolf curse."

"His what?"

"You didn't know?"

"No, how do you know he's a giant?"

"Half giant. My great uncle was friends with his dad. They use to go mountaineering together. That's how they meet his mum" James explained rubbing his eyes.

"Your grand uncle was friends with giants? I love your family, can I join?"

"If this a proposal I don't think Moony will approve." Sirius chuckle in response. "Besides it would be weird to marry my brother."

"Brother?" Sirius repeated fondly "I could use a brother, my own just disowned me."

"Of course I'm your brother, pads" James replied with a yawn.

"Thank you James" Sirius said pull a yellow and pink knit blanket snugly under his chin.

"Prongs?"

"mmm"

"Do we have to give Hagrid the blanket back?"

" . . ."


End file.
